Proverbs of Solomon
if he had been a gardener OR
Fractured Proverbs

Lazy hands make a man poor
but diligent hands create gardens.

A wise heart accepts commands of nature
but a chattering fool will never hear them.

The man of integrity walks securely,
but he who takes crooked paths steps in mud.

Wise men store up knowledge,
and learns many truths from his garden.

He who heeds discipline shows the way to life,
planting only what will grow in his climate zone.

The rows of the righteous nourish many,
their harvest may yield too many zucchini.

What the wicked dreads will overtake him;
while the righteous weed their garden often.

As vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes,
chemicals are the tools of the lazy gardener.

The righteous will never be uprooted,
but the unprotected vine is torn out by the wind.

When the wicked man dies, his hope perishes;
while those who garden with God plant upon the rock.

With his runoff the godless destroys his neighbor,
but through knowledge he may construct a French drain.

For lack of planning a city falls,
when urban sprawl is not landscaped at all.

He who puts up a security fence for another will surely suffer,
but whoever makes it attractive saves the view.

Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout
is decoration in a garden of weeds.

One man gives freely, yet gains even more;
while another withholds unduly never sharing his perennials.

People curse the man who hoards his stable manure,
but blessing crowns him who is willing to share.

A wife willing to dig is her husband’s crown,
but a woman who abhors dirt is like decay in his bones.

He who walks with the wise grows wise,
but a fool fails to join the garden club.

A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children,
but a sinner won’t plant trees if he’s too old to ever stand in their shade

The righteous eat to their hearts’ content,
because they go to the garden for their meals.

The wise woman builds her house,
but keeps it small and the garden large.

Where there are no oxen, the manager uses a rototiller,
and from the gasoline engine comes an abundant harvest.

The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways,
but a fool makes the same mistakes next year.

A simple man believes anything,
but a prudent man tries it on one plant before the whole garden.

All hard work brings a profit,
but mere talk never yields a single flower.

A king delights in a wise servant,
and never fails to offer the hired gardener a generous tip at Christmas.

The eyes of the Lord are everywhere,
particulary on seed potatoes.

Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path;
and his wheelbarrow makes ruts in the lawn.

Better a meal of vegetables where there is a garden,
than a feast from the supermarket.

The way of the slug is blocked by diatomaceous earth,
but on the path birds will eat them.

The Lord tears down the proud man’s house,
and grows a garden in the vacant lot.

Commit to the Lord what ever you do,
and He will make the plants grow faster.

How much better to get wisdom than gold,
and dark fertile earth than diamonds.

The laborer’s appetite works for him;
who sees fruit and vegetables where young seedlings lie.

Gray hair is the crown of splendor;
and marks the age when gardeners are born.

Better to meet a bear robbed of her cubs;
than to try to separate a gardener from the garden.

Of what use is money in the hands of a gardener;
for currency never made a flower grow.

A cheerful heart is good medicine;
and shares the herbs with all who are sick.

He who answers before listening-
never learns a darned thing from wise gardeners.

A gift opens the way for the giver
and is ever thankful for a new pair of clippers.

It is not good to have zeal without knowledge,
for excessive work does not guarantee an abundant crop.

Laziness brings on deep sleep,
and the shiftless man’s garden remains empty.

Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler;
and both should be saved for the end of the gardener’s day.

Blows and wounds cleanse away the weeds,
and the aggressive hoe purges them altogether.